True Story #4

At bar trivia last night w/ my buddy devin. Our team name wuz 00devin like double oh devin like james bond bcoz I like james bond & devin wants his name in there so it wuz a comprise. The trivia guy wuz saying the team names & there wuz another team called the james blondes it wuz these four girls at a table but only 1 of them wuz blonde. Devin was like we shld go talk & hook up w/ them chicas. I said okay & walked over there but he didn’t & I stopped & looked at him like wut’s up and he just drank his shocktop but the girls already seen me so I kept walking over & then I was like hey uhhh like a dumass and then I said I like ur team name. the blonde she asks wut team are u? & I said 00devin & she said is ur name devin & I said no that’s my friend’s name my name is Justin & she said hi I’m Candace nice to meet u & her friends intro’d themselves too but I forgot their names. I said can I buy u a drink & I meant Candace but they were all like yes so I had to buy them a pitcher which wuz kind of bullshit but whatevs they seemed nice so I got them a shocktop. Candace said james bond wouldn’t drink this & I was all yes he would he doesn’t give a fuck he once electrified a Korean man to death.

The next round started & I forgot wut it wuz something like geography & Candace didn’t care either so me & her kept talking bout james bond & wut a boss he is & it wuz like all my dreams were coming true coz here wuz this chica that like liked james bond too & so then I was like let’s watch a james bond movie & she said right now? & I said well that might make it a little late I have to work at the Food Lion 2morrow it sux & she was like so wut this is james jimmy bond here & I said okay let’s do this.

We went 2 her place & it wasn’t that nice like her mom wasn’t there 2 clean up after her but I didn’t say anything like a gentleman & she put in a dvd of Die Another Day which has that sweet part where james bond is driving on the ice & then there’s a wave & he has a parachute I think? I forgot. Halley berry is hot as fuck tho so I sit down & start watching it & then Candace puts her hand on me & I’m all that’s cool but trying 2 watch the movie & she’s all this movie sux that’s why I put it on & I’m all wut? & she’s all this is just background 4 us 2 get 2 know each other bodylike & I wuz all that’s fine but this is a james bond movie we need to set our piorities like responsible people like james bond & she’s like wut & I’m like I thot u got it I thot u were different & she’s like whatevs & I’m like yeah whatevs is right so I left & went back 2 to the bar and devin was gone & so was the james blondes & we lost anyway. The bartender wuz like ur buddy left a tab & I wuz like let me get my wallet it’s in my car & then I just left like yeah right pal u think I’m gonna take care of that ur a LOSER.