22 April 2014

True Story #1

In the future, everything will be paid for with lists.

You will go to a diner and eat a hamburger. "How much was this hamburger?" you will ask the diner manager.

"Five 'Most Overrated/Underrated' lists," he will reply. "Any topic."

You will look at the device that has been embedded in your arm since you were born, and you will frown. "Mister, I'm just a wandering drifter. All I have is a '10 Must-See Sites in Tucson, Arizona.'"

The manager will pull out his lazer gun. "Stay there," he will say, aiming his kill machine at you. Then he will speak into his own arm device. "Get me the police."

"Welcome to the police department," the police will answer. "How may we assist you today?"

"I got someone trying to skip out on his tab."

"We can help you with this problem. It will cost you '36 Gifs That Will Only Make Sense to Children of the Noughties.'"

"Shooot. I don't have anything like that. How 'bout '18 Facts About Worms That Will Take Your Breath Away'?"

"That is acceptable as an initial payment."

The responding officer will be a malfunctioning robot shooting sparks out of its metal skin. The sparks will set the diner on fire. Everyone but the robot will die in the inferno. Ashamed, the robot will become a wandering drifter, its sparks lighting up roadsides at night.

It will not require hamburgers for sustenance.

No comments:

Post a Comment